I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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