thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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