I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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