Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
they're like a gay fantastic four
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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