Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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