They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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