i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize