i think i scared a bird with my dick
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
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How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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