my mouth tastes like poor choices
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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