Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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