"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
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I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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