you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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