stop calling my apartment porn island.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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