Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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