And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize