her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize