Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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