so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize