What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize