I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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