why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize