I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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