you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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