i already hear my dad disowning me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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