I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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