Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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