I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize