Soap is not a condiment
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize