I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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