Will you blow on my dice?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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