What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
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Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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