careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize