I'm laying in your front yard are you home
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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