Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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