so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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