At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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