my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize