Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize