Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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