he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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