Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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