I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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