just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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