You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize