I wish I could teleport
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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