My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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