I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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