if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize