My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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