Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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